Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
