census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
