Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize