You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
