I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Boobs speak an international language.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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