this boner is exhausting
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
