How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
