He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
