Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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