I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize