Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
