i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
