just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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