dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
