thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
