he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When did angry sex become our thing?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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