You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
