This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
