I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
