Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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