careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
