my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
