You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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