So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
