we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
