if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize