Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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