I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
