At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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