Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Damn victory sex feels great
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
