So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
