guys are not supposed to queef...right?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
