Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it glows. i had to have it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
