I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
