Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Brb crying the tears of my youth
May the power of my ass compel you!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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