Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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