You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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