I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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