I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
