Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
