whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
