Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
