North Korea, Best Korea!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize