belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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