3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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