Sry I called you an 8
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
