my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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