I hope mine doesn't look like that
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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