what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
