Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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