White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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