Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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