She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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