Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize